I’ve been thinking a lot this week about what kind of a mum I am after someone asked me if I was an attachment parent or a helicopter parent as I spend so much time “doting on Oscar”. And I’ve come to this realisation…
I am the kind of mum that won’t let my baby “cry himself out”. I don’t care if that means he still needs to comfort suck himself to sleep. I won’t let him just cry until he runs out of all energy and feels abandoned and gives up. That may be what you did “in your day” but it’s proven that it’s not good for under ones and I’m just not going to do it so stop telling me I should.
I am the kind of mum that will spend all day playing with my baby. He doesn’t like to be alone and is very active for a six month old. He desperately wants to stand up but can’t do it unaided and if he needs my help to do it then I will help him. I won’t just let him get frustrated and upset because I’m forcing him in lay on the carpet being passive; he’s just not that type of baby.
I am the kind of mum that let him eat when he’s hungry. Whether that means breast, bottle or solids. If he’s upset he clearly needs food and isn’t just being “greedy”. He is a baby, he will eat until he is full and satisfied and I will let him.
I am the kind of mum that worries about every decision I make (this sounds like every mum to me). Even the tiny ones like what outfit he should wear to stay warm/cool for the day.
I am the kind of mum that will lose track of conversations because I’m too busy looking at my babies gorgeous little face (sorry about that).
I am the kind of mum that will want to go to bed as soon as Oscar has. Just so I can lie in the same room and listen to him breathing.
I am the kind of mum that really doesn’t want to go back to work because I want to watch him grow and change every day.
I am the kind of mum that will always feel guilty because I have to go back to work and will miss watching him grow and change every day.
I am the kind of mum that will try and pacify my baby with a toy so I can lay face down on the sofa for 5 minutes peace.
I am the kind of mum that doesn’t look after herself or eat during the day because I get too distracted with making sure he’s happy.
I am the kind of mum that longs for a bit of “me” time; a couple of hours shopping, a cup of tea in front of the telly, a nice lunch out.
I am the kind of mum that doesn’t miss my baby when I do get the chance for some “me” time but is always happy to see him when I get back.
I am the kind of mum that gets frustrated and angry when he’s grizzly and won’t give me a seconds rest.
I am the kind of mum that has squealed “for gods sake shut up” when he won’t stop crying and nothing will calm him.
I am the kind of mum that has felt shit for doing the above.
What kind of mum am I?
I am the kind of mum that really doesn’t like labels. I am not a label. I do not fit into a parenting type. I am me. I am Oscar’s mum. I am a product of every experience I’ve ever had in my life. I am trying my best.