I’ve been a little quiet the last few weeks. I had the best of intentions in keeping up with all my new pregnancy related posts but to be honest I was struggling a bit. I had a few panic attacks and minor melt downs about what on earth we were doing having a child. I struggle to put my finger on why exactly because I did all of the major panicking when we found out we were expecting. It’s a strange feeling to put into words because I wouldn’t be able to tell you anything specific that I’ve been concerned about – more just a feeling of panic and anxiety. We had our 20 week scan last Friday and I although I didn’t realise it at the time, I think that freaked me out more than I was expecting.
Now over half way.
Suddenly everything was so real; even more so when we made our first baby purchases that weekend (pram and a baby grow!).
It’s taken a few days for me to calm back down again. I don’t think the fact that I drank my first coffee for months on the following Monday morning helped! I’ve since read that it can bring on anxiety attacks so I won’t be touching it again because that was my worst day so far! I also wrote my first ever post as a Baby Centre blogger (erm, exciting much?) about why I’m scared of giving birth. Writing those words out and confirming the fact that I would actually need to give birth definitely added to the panic levels too!
Now that I’ve ditched the caffeine and have told myself several hundred times that everything will be fine I feel much better and much more excited! We also found out we’re having a baby boy which is amazing (it probably contributed to the “realness” of it all too). Mr Scissors has always wanted a little boy that he can teach all of his many hobbies to; Metal detecting, rock climbing, circus skills, canoeing – I can completely see them playing in the woods opposite the house together, building forts and coming home covered in mud. Not that the same wouldn’t have happened if we were having a girl.
So that’s me and the reason for my ominous silence recently. Frantically coming to terms with being pregnant.
I am now more determined than ever to enjoy this pregnancy and stop freaking out that we can’t do it; that I can’t do it.
We can; I can.
How did you all cope with pregnancy?