I’m sitting here writing a post. In itself that isn’t unusual – I have a blog right? But it IS unusual that this will be my third post in a week. I’ve barely written three posts in 6 months since Ozzy was born. The reason? He has always slept on my lap as he would only go to sleep comfort sucking on my boob. This has meant that every waking minute has been consumed with either feeding him, letting him sleep on me or playing with him. I’ve barely even been able to eat these past few months until my OH gets home.

This week though I’ve been trying something new in a desperate attempt to get some time for myself and to get him prepared for nursery. Instead of letting him sleep on me I’ve been taking him to our bedroom and lying down with him until he nods off, then slowly popping my boob out of his mouth, making the area safe and backing away quietly. And to my surprise it’s bloody working!

I should be over the moon about this – I can finally write again and even have a bit of toast and have a cuppa. But in actual fact I’m a bit sad. I love our sleepy cuddles on the sofa and I miss him lying on me. I only tried it once to see what would happen and because it worked I feel like I need to keep up with it so we don’t lose momentum (and hopefully the next step will be doing it in his cot and then removing the boob altogether) but if I’m honest I don’t feel ready to let him go yet. If I’d know it would work I might have made the most of those last few cuddles (he’s not really in to cuddles otherwise) before we started.

So now I’m sitting here writing, which is great, but pining for my little man who is lying upstairs without me.

It’s like us brits moaning about the weather – I was desperate for some time back and now that I’ve got it I’m not even enjoying it.

Damned if you, damned it you don’t.

*sigh*