from Sussex, with love

A Crisis of Confidence – Why Don’t I Have Any Style?

I’ve always been shit with fashion. It’s always bothered me more than I would care to admit to people too. Whilst everyone else at school, college and then uni always looked good (or at the very least looked crap but had their own distinct “style”) I was always a mismatch of items that really didn’t work together.

I think I blame my mum – she is horsey and spends most of the day in jodpers and a jumper and never really taught me about make up or other girly stuff. She also has major body confidence issues which have obviously rubbed off on me and have left me hating the way I look since my teenage years. It’s meant that I’ve turned out a bit of a tom boy (which I love) but not even with good tomboy fashion sense.

I’ve always been a bit bothered by this lack of style but chalked it up to “not-giving-a-toss-about-fashion-and-materialistic-bourgeoisie-shit-like-that-yeah” but I think I’ve been sort of lying to myself about it. I AM bothered that I walk in to a shop and can’t find anything to wear that matches/makes me feel good. I AM bothered that I always look scruffy because I’m wearing a long cover-all cardigan that I’ve had for six years. I AM bothered that I don’t have a clue about what accessories would match my outfit. I AM bothered that it makes me feel self-conscious and like I’m lacking. I guess that last point is the most important.

I know this all probably sounds super shallow, but it doesn’t need to be girly (not very me) or over the top – I just want my own style to make myself feel a little more confident. Working in digital media means everyone is quite eclectic in their tastes and I’m sick of turning up to the office or a client meeting looking like a four year old has picked out my clothes.

I hoard clothes too – I still have stuff in a size 8 from years ago because “it might fit again one day”. pffff get real Kelly. You’ve had you’re first baby and are easily a size 14 at the minute – you aint getting back into that tiny dress you got from River Island – no matter how pretty it is. I also still have favorite jumpers that are years old and are full of holes and pulled threads because when in doubt I just chuck on a super large and super unflattering jumper or hoody and skulk out of the door feeling utterly miserable.

So I am setting myself a challenge – 2015 is not only the year I become a mum, but also the year I finally start looking and feeling more confident and human.

This is my sort-of-plan to make it happen.

  1. Start a sexy pinterest board for my new”look” – and pull in a little help from my more stylish friends (including the lovely Patches and Flash, who, hopefully, can point me in the right direction and my best friend Emma who knows better than most how crap I am with clothes and ALWAYS looks amazing)
  2. Get rid of all of my clothes. No excuses and no exceptions; if it doesn’t fit or it’s more than a year old then it’s gone. Arrivederci. Adios. And I WILL be ruthless this time
  3. Use all of the Christmas vouchers and birthday money that I’ve been too busy to spend on a new gok-style capsule window. Just the staples. Fitting jeans in several colours, basics like t-shirts, jackets and cardies and some mix and match shoes and accessories

That’s the plan at least.

Wish me luck!

(and to spur me on – this is me when I was younger in what has become my standard uniform of jeans + jumper combo … shudder)


even my brother looks horrified
even my brother looks horrified
Kelly is a twenty-something lover of all things nerdy. Cocktails and lie ins are her favorite things, neither of which she can enjoy since becoming a mum for the first time. She writes about everything she loves and loathes (with a little indifference thrown in for good measure!) She also blogs over on the BabyCentre about life as a new mum.


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